I Can't Wait

It's hard to be positive when everything around me is so negative.
It's so difficult to pass a test when all I learned was how to fail.
I can't find a friend, cause I don't know how to be a good one.
No guy will like me, I'm not girlfriend material.
I will never be able to reach out to you, you've made you're choice on which path to take in your life.
I will never be smart enough to get into college, I'm barely making it through high school.
I am a loser, because I've never won.
People don't want to listen to me, my stories suck..they just don't care.
Give up, he will never want to be with a girl like you.
I will never be able to focus, the doctor said I got A.D.D.

I am ready to be done school, this place is so depressing..
All day thoughts go through my mind about what it would be like if I were to move to Hawaii..the one place I would love to go, it's beautiful, the beach, the sun shining down on me..running with the sand beneath my feet, so free..the scenery is so clear to me. The palm trees are exactly where they're supposed to be.
Through this, I find peace..not a bad thought can creep in, if I am laying on that sandy beach with the sun shining down on me..there is no such thing as negativity.
I Can't Wait.

I never told you, But tonight i cried..

It's been a while since I actually cried.
Tonight I talked to someone really important to me,
Somehow we started talking about the past..
I got so upset I cried, a lot.
I am so sick of feeling bad, give me a reason to leave.
How do you make feelings end? cause I can't seem to control them.
and I am so tired of chasing someone who will never ever feel the same about me.
So i am done.

I can't stand making posts like these, but I felt the need to vent and my journals too far away for me to get it.