Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I saw so much more.

Last night, we walked.
Talked about the old times, the summers when we were best friends.

Although we didn't get into any deep conversation it was a start.
I miss you but I really love how far I've come since then.
I don't plan on going back.

So we walked, and as I stepped closer to the skatepark..
I saw my old life, who I used to be before I gave my life to Christ.
I would spend all my time there if I could.
They knew me and called me over..
As I stepped on that concrete to talk to a few old friends I saw who I used to be.
That girl, so desperate for attention.
the one who hung out with all the wrong people, the one who just wanted to fit in.
I remember that time,
The first time you got high.
How could I forget?
It brought me back to the first time we met.
But also reminded me how much I didn't want that life.

So I sat there, still so desperate to be seen.
I dated practically any guy who would ask me out..
Yah, I was that girl. The one who would go through 3 guys every month.
Unaware that all they wanted was, everything I wasn't.
Ending it after a week.
Kind of funny how they don't care about me anymore.


Many people think I'm weak,
just so you know..I'm not, I'm so far from weak.
You see, if I were weak..I would have started smoking and doing drugs, just like my old friends,
If I were weak, I wouldn't be living. If I were weak I would have givin into all that peer pressure. I wouldn't be where I'm at today. If I were weak, I would be the kid walking by that skatepark asking for a smoke.
I'd be the girl, waking up in the morning and not wanting to do it again..but still, love that numb feeling you get out of it.
If I were weak..
But I'm not, call me weak..And i'll give you reasons why I am strong.

I'm Christian now, living my life for Christ.
I gave that life up, I found where I fit in..
I don't want to go back.
Some people think it's impossible to be drunk in the spirit, well..I tell you, it's soo possible.
Weirdest/BEST feeling ever. you don't even get the hangover.

Just a thought going through my mind.
Thought it would make me feel better if I wrote it down.

1 comment:

  1. That's really cool to see how God took hold of you and changed your heart!
    Don't forget to rely on God's strength! His strength is sufficient where our's only lasts for a time. Through his strength we can over come anything!

    2 Corinthians 12:9-10
    But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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