I'll Leave This Letter For You..

I'm sorry mommy, I can't be the girl you want me to be.
I'm not the one you have dreamt of, or seen.
I'm not that girl on the tv screen!

You can keep working on me, but I'm not a machine..
this isn't how things work.
I'm me, and I'm sorry..but I can't be sorry.

I'm so sick of being somebody I'm not!
So love me for me, Not that stupid image in a silly little dream!
I want to run up and give you a hug on a bad day, for you to tell me everything will be okay.
Something stops me everytime, I can't tell you what happened.
Yah, I feel stupid mom! so what, I know I'm not. So stop treating me like I am.

I get the lowest marks in the class, a class of 3 kids!
No, I don't want to pursue a career in anthropology, tourism, psychology..I don't plan on working in a museum either..math teacher? no thanks! I'm sorry I don't even need this stuff..just give me the basics!

I dont't think you notice, I'm the only one of your kids that is going to graduate!
My big brothers are gone, they got lost in the drugs and grew up too fast, left home and dropped out of school..At sixteen! I'm seventeen and going somewhere, I'm taking this life and doing something with it. I'll leave this letter for you.

And when I go to California, I'll think of you. I know you'll think of me.
I'll miss you and I will always miss you.
I love you mom and I want you to understand..I'm not the girl you want me to be.
I'm going to bible college after school, at least thats the plan.
So when i get there, I hope you realize these things and are proud of me..
All I want is for you to be proud for once, just once..
And show it.
I want to know it..

Love You Mom,

-Seranda.